The Lowdown: Lucia

It's one of the most enduring Swedish winter traditions. The tradition of Lucia brings some much needed light into Sweden's winter darkness, James Savage writes.

My colleagues have told me to get in early on Wednesday for Lucia. Who is Lucia?

Lucia is, or was, St. Lucy, a Catholic saint martyred in Syracuse in 304 AD. In Sweden, she is celebrated in early morning ceremonies on December 13th. In schools and workplaces, a nominated girl or young woman will don a white dress and wear a wreath of candles on her head. The ceremony is usually accompanied by early morning servings of glögg (sweet mulled wine), lussekatter (St Lucy buns) and ginger snaps.

Why does Sweden go so big on Lucia?

Quite how St. Lucy worked her way into Swedish tradition is unclear, but December 13th was the shortest day of the year under the Julian calendar, which Sweden followed until the 18th century.

It is traditionally held that a maiden dressed in white robes and wearing a crown of candles brought food to starving villagers on the shore of Lake Vänern. Lucia also has links to a German tradition of girls dressing as 'Christ children', handing out Christmas presents.

Traditionally, Lucia processions would be held in the home, with daughters dressing up and bringing coffee to their parents. Now, the practice is widespread in workplaces and schools, and newspapers frequently run Lucia competitions for readers.

Is this just something for the girls?

Even in these days of sexual equality, the girls have pretty much got Lucia wrapped up. Still, men are now allowed walk-on parts as Lucia's acolytes, known as 'stjärngossar' or 'star boys'. They also wear the long white robes, but instead of the crowns they wear white, pointy hats.

Didn't I hear something about a song?

Indeed, the Lucia celebrations are accompanied by music, particularly the Neapolitan Song Santa Lucia, which has been given Swedish Lyrics which speak of St. Lucy bringing light in the darkness. It's haunting melody make it a firm favourite for many Swedes.

Sounds lovely, but I'm not keen on getting up early to attend one of these celebrations.

You could always watch it on TV - SVT always broadcasts a traditional Lucia celebration early on the morning of the 13th.

All sounds very pleasant

It is. There is a more raucous side, however, with Lucia night celebrated by high school pupils partying all night to celebrate the approach of the Christmas holidays.

We Are Marquette!

In the end, it seems as if Bob Wild was too much for me to stay away for more than six months, so I am returning to Marquette University for my senior year. Syddansk Universitet had its perks (like not doing anything for the entire semester), but I do value my MU education.

One final trip, to Amsterdam, and I'll be home. Have I made the right decision to come back?

On the Ball: Sesame Street Edition

T minus Kiel Days...

Das größte Segelsport-Ereignis der Welt, das größte Sommerfest im Norden Europas: Kiel heißt zur Kieler Woche Skipper und "Seh"-Leute aus aller Welt herzlich willkommen.

I have no idea what that means, but we were there, at Kieler Woche Skipper, or whatever it was. There was food from nearly every region of the world (Swedish food was oddly missing), so I settled for some Israeli, Turkish, and a Danish dessert. I did however enjoy watching Sebastian eat a nearly one meter long bratwurst from Poland, and Fabien managed to find the French Fry station (those French love their fries???)

Needless to say, there was plenty of food, for even the most exotic of eaters. Oh, and we were of course in Germany, so there was plenty of beer. All in all a great little city festival on the port.

This National Day sounds like a time of rejoicing, a day on which Swedes celebrate with age-old traditional rituals, probably involving raw fish and copious amounts of akvavit?

No, not really. 'Den sjätte juni' is hardly a date that trips off a Swedish tongue in the way that Quatorze Juillet does in French. Born on the Sixth of June will never have quite the same patriotic ring as Born on the Fourth of July.

In fact, Swedes didn't even get a day off for it until 2005. For most people, it's just a welcome day off in the early summer. Oh, unless it falls on a Saturday or Sunday.

But what exactly is it supposed to celebrate?

A more difficult question to answer than you might expect. Unlike other countries, which have anniversaries of independence or revolutions to commemorate, Sweden has never been occupied and has never got rid of its monarchy.

If you ask a Swede, they'll probably mumble something vague about Gustav Vasa.

The day does indeed coincide with the anniversary of Gustav Vasa's election as Sweden's king in 1523, marking the end of the union with Denmark and the start of a new period of closer unity within Sweden. This day was celebrated from the 19th century as a national day of commemoration.

June 6th was also the day in 1809 on which Sweden adopted a new constitution, something it did again on the same date in 1974. From the 1890s, the Skansen open air museum in Stockholm started organizing patriotic celebrations on June 6th. In 1916, the day became The Swedish Flag Day.

Who decided to make it into Sweden's National Day?

National Day was first recognized officially by the government in 1983, but it only became a public holiday in 2005, after years of debate. The official hope was that it would be a day of unity for the Swedish people. Others saw it as a sop to industry, who would now be able to squeeze more working days out of the masses in the name of patriotism.

I want to join in the celebrations - how should I do this in a typically Swedish way?

As Sweden's only really had two National Day holidays so far, there isn't much of a precedent. Dancing round Maypoles and eating raw fish is really reserved for Midsummer, later this month. Until it became a public holiday, the only visible signs of National Day were the flags flying in people's gardens and from buses and trams.

These days, the royals celebrate the day by taking a carriage procession from the Royal Palace in Stockholm to Skansen. The Swedish flag is raised and bouquets are given to the Queen and princesses.
Don't like the sound of that - what should I do instead?
Do what an SVT survey found that 81 percent of Swedes do - nothing at all. You, like them, can use the day to assemble Ikea furniture, lounge about in the sun or catch up on much-needed sleep. Let the celebrations begin!

What's better than a Swedish Beach?

Trick question... there is nothing better than a Swedish beach, but we did make a beach day trip yesterday to the North Sea.

Tönning, Germany... home to the largest continuous beach in Germany. Also home to the highest topless old lady per acre of beach ratio in the world.

Imagine you are lying on the beach, eyes closed, waves crashing as you take in the sun on a beautiful June afternoon. Just then, you open your eyes to reach for another sip of your coconut maitai. You shouldn't have done that. A German lady is staring you in the face. It gets worse, she's saying something in German. Oh, and she's topless.

I guess you can't blame her for being so friendly. Turns out she was just commenting on the weather.

Back Home (Sønderborg)

I have returned home after a week long jaunt with Sister Swede.

Malmö is simply amazing, but who am I to try and sell it? (oh yeah, I'm Swede In America!)

Ahhhh... now this is the life!


If I can't afford the Twisting Torso, these sweet Swedish designed flats will have to do...


Sunset in Malmo...

Link to the rest of Malmo.

Scottish Pub

Once upon a time, Sister Swede studied with a Dane at Watertown High School. The Dane loved Watertown so much, he returned for many summers to visit with his fellow Goslings. One summer the Dane stopped coming to Watertown... The people of Watertown were sad, and so Sister Swede met up with the Dane in Copehnagen.

(left to right: Dane, Awesome Pub Performer, Sister Swede)

Firsts and Seconds:To the homeland...

Guest Blogger: Sister Swede Reports

We are moments away from leaving Sonderborg for one more night in Copenhagen, then it's off to Sweden! Here are some photos I took while in Ben's "home" town.

Highlights of Sonderborg: Swimming in the Baltic, downtown, and Ben got another haircut!

Kobenhavn, Wonderful, Wonderful... Kobenhavn For Me!

Guest Writer: Sister Swede Reports...

I've had a great time in Denmark so far! Ben met me at the airport (he was early, I was late) and we headed out for our European adventure. After spending three days in Copenhagen, we made the trip to Sonderborg this afternoon. It is a beautiful city!

It's getting late (and Ben has an exam early tomorrow morning), so I'm going to keep this short. Here are the highlights from our first three days.

Day 1:

Tivoli, the main city square, the walking street, dinner in Nyhavn and back to Tivoli.

Day 2:

Lots of sightseeing! Highlights include royal gardens, the Little Mermaid, Nyhavn (again) and eating a Fransk hot dog!

Day 3:

The Carlsberg Brewery, getting a birds eye view of the city, Christiana and more Nyhavn!

Enjoy! More tomorrow...

Copenhagen contest called off

When I said the Scandinavian truce was to take a pause, the Danes just had to go and take it too far. Sweden took a 3-0 lead in the first 25 minutes, only to see their lead slowly chipped away by the Danes. In the 89th minute, Poulsen of Denmark took a cheap shot at Rosenberg, reminiscent of the Zindane head butt of the 2006 World Cup. The Dane received a direct red card for the kidney punch and the Swedes were awarded a penalty kick. After the call, all hell broke loose in Parken (the stadium in Copenhagen), and a disgruntled Dane charged the field on a mission and attempted to attack the referee. The ref called the match off, and the pitch was cleared as fans pelted the field with flares/debris. After deliberation, UEFA took away the goals of Denmark, and the final score will go in the books as 3-0 Sweden.

Needless to say, I can't wait to go to Copenhagen tomorrow to see what kind of destruction the Danes unleash in their drunken fury!

The Hand Holding is Over

Scandinavian cooperation takes a pause today, as Sverige takes on Danmark tonight in qualifying for the 2008 Euro Cup. Tickets are going for 500 Euro ($675 USD), so I'm going to sit this one out to join my Dansk rivals here in Sonderborg for a night of drinking and watching good 'ole fashioned Scandinavian football. I'm predicting a 2-1 Sverige victory.

This was the scene at the 2004 UEFA Euro Cup when Swedes and Danes swapped jerseys after a 2-2 draw ensured they both would move on... to the demise of Italy, who needed anything but a draw... there's nothing like Scandinavians working together!

Holy Hare Batman!

So apparently a rabbit isn't a rabbit here, but a European Hare. I snapped this pic a few weeks ago and I thought it was an ordinary rabbit hopping around like your average bunny. This afternoon I saw the same creature, different situation. Like a five year old girl chasing a boy on the playground, two of the 'lil foo-foo's came flying by chasing each other. Allegedly this little fella can reach speeds of 45 mph. Faster than the average hare! Take that Yogi Bear.

I'd Like, I'd Like to be Like Mike...

Apparently people still look up to the US as being a good model. Despite all the negative stuff going on in the last two terms few years, countries still want to be more like the US. The Danish prime minister's son has just wrote a book in favor of the US:

Henrik Fogh Rasmussen writes in his new book, 'American Conditions', that the Danish media paints an exaggerated picture of poverty, racism and uninsured patients in the US, and argues European leaders should instead use the US model to address this continent's own social problems.

Rasmussen has lived in the US for several years and has an American wife. In his 57-page book he challenges the many negative images of the US promoted by the media and says the Danish health care system is more apt to fail patients than the American.

'Seen in light of the huge demographic changes Europe is experiencing, European decision makers should take more inspiration from the market-based health care system in the US, instead of warning us about the "American conditions" in health care,' Rasmussen writes.

'The national health care systems in Europe are characterised by rigorous cost controls, where hospital administrators and doctors jealously guard their annual budgets. This means there is little place for experiments such as a wider use of preventive medicines, and it is the patients that this lack of creativity and resistance to new thinking ultimately affects.'

'The picture of the US as a society with widespread poverty and homelessness is wrong. The numbers clearly show that living standards for the poorest Americans are at the same level as the poorest people in Denmark and the rest of Europe.

This never would have happened to Miss Sweden...

Is the US Buying Sweden?

In a very economical sense, yes... Nasdaq has made a bid to buy OMX, the Swedish company that owns the Denmark, Norway, Finland, Sweden, Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia exchange markets. This purchase gives the US a stronghold in the technology sector in the Scandinavian states, which have produced such companies as Nokia, Ericsson, Volvo, AstraZeneca (those cheesy drug commercials), and others.

Be prepared for a more Scandinavian looking Times Square!

Dream Job

All jokes aside, it would be sweet to work for IKEA corporate one day. Not only would you have preferred access to efficient Swedish design, but there would obviously be some travel time to the homeland.

IKEA has made the short list upon graduation...

http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/jobs/apply_now/international_jobs/index.html

International Food, (drink) Day

Have you ever had an Afghani nut? How about a Romanian dessert? Either had I, until Friday's "Intercultural Snack-evening."

Now, you have all been here in Sønderborg for 6 months or longer, but have you had a taste of Denmark, yet?

And what is the taste of your country???

Make a traditional snack and drink from your place of the world, and bring it to our Intercultural Snack -evening for your fellow exchange students to taste -and have a taste of their country, too.

The first thing I thought of was to make Swedish Pancakes with Lingon, but upon authorization from the international director she asked that I bring something "American," since I am the only American representative. First of all... it is nearly impossible to find corn and turkey, the only two real "American" foods I could think of. So what did I end up making? Hot Dogs, Peanuts, COOOOLD BEER! The traditional pastime of a day at the ballpark, nothing is more American than that.

I did however do something that I am not proud of... I bought a case of... gulp... Budweiser. It was the only American import beer available in the distant land of Denmark. That isn't an acceptable excuse, and in retrospect I should have forgone the idea of having an American beer rather than serving that sad excuse for a beer. I hope I didn't anger the beer gods back home, and rest assured the first thing I will do upon my return home will be to crack open a Milwaukee brewed Miller product.

I will also take this moment to propose a new Man-Law:
"A man must always carry a six pack of Miller Lite when traveling overseas in the event that there are no Miller products available" - Man Law

Bank Update: Currency Edition

That is the value of the USD vs. Danish Krone (affectionately known as the Copey) since I have been here. Notice the slight downturn, and by downturn I mean constant decline, which amounts to a 5% decrease in my purchasing power parity. Add to that the high price of living expenses here, and a man with no income could have a problem surviving here. Keep in mind the minimum wage is approx $14/hr. here, so they have no problem surviving. Heck, Danish students receive weekly checks from the government to pay for their living expenses (aka beer for a Dane).

I won't frighten you with actual balance of my account, but rest assured it will be good/(necessary?) to get back home to start working again!

They're here: Cicadas resurface after 17-year hibernation

So the "buzz" is that the cicadas are back... perfect timing for me to miss this once and a 17 year phenomenon! Prepare for the famine of 2007 as the "locusts" swarm and destroy everything in their paths like Swedes in a ship. Anticipate six weeks of constant buzzing as 1.5 million cicadas per acre emerge from their 17 year slumber.

I have prepared a recipe for those that survive the rapture:

Cicada Stir-Fry:

• minced onion, coriander (cilantro), fresh gingerroot
• sliced carrots, chopped cauliflower and/or broccoli
• water chestnuts and/or other vegetables of your choice
• bean sprouts and snow peas
• blanched, teneral cicadas

In a wok or other suitable pan, heat a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil. Add ingredients in the order listed above when those in the most recent addition are partially cooked. Serve over whole-grain (“brown”) rice and add soy sauce to taste.

Whats White and Red and Red All Over?

Distance from Equator: 3,500 miles
Time in the sun: 2 hours
Being Swedish: Priceless (and a mean burn!)

¡Suerte y al toro! (pertaining to jokes)

This is a tale of a joke that didn't work so well across cultural boundaries:

Ben to a Spaniard: "Have you seen that new pirate movie?"
Spaniard: ???
Ben: "Yeah, it's rated ArrrrrrrrR!"
Spaniard: ???
...twenty minutes of explanation...
Spaniard: "So that is the sound a pirate makes?"

Michael Moore on Sweden

Filmmaker Michael Moore has attacked the Swedish government for opening up the health service to more private sector involvement.

"I am very sorry to hear that they are selling out public healthcare. Everything that is good about public healthcare has its origins in Scandinavia," he said, adding that he thought the Swedish public would vote the centre -right Alliance government out as a result.

I accept your apology Mr. Moore...

Swedes (not) in America

From June 2 - 10, there will be one less Swede in America. None other than The Swede in America's Sister will be joining her Swedish brother for a week of Scandinavian adventure. The trip will inevitably include a second (first for some) pilgrimage to Sweden.

Ben's Swedes
(left to right: Sister Swede (Rachel), Swede in America (Ben), Mother Swede (Vicki), not picutured: O'Father (irish)

Byfesten

It's that time of year again... < fill in the blank >-fest. Every city has one. In Watertown: Riverfest. Sonderborg: Byfesten.
I'm pretty sure there is a worldwide formula that cities purchase which summons a convoy of carnies to roll into town from their carny villages. The carnies set up their carny tent village, and people flock to throw their money at them. The interesting population of the city finally shows its face and the question is answered, "so theres the other 10,000 people that live here." It's these 10,000 helpless folks that make the entire carny system work. Steps to make the system work:

1. Find people with children, preferably four or more children
   
2. Offer cheep Chinese crap for a seemingly simple task (often of physical merit)
   2a. display one huge stuffed animal for girlfriend to see
   
3. Deep fry every food item you offer
4. Never stay in the same town for more than three days
5. Stay away from cities with more than 25,000 people
   

Human Popsicles

Sweden is considering allowing freeze-drying as a new method to bury the dead instead of traditional burials and cremations:

The freeze-drying method offers an environmentally friendly burial transforming corpses into organic compost. Traditional burials and cremations hurt the environment by polluting air and water, as a corpse buried in a coffin will take many years to decompose completely.

Under the new method, the corpse is taken to a temperature of minus 196 degrees Celsius in a liquid nitrogen bath and the body is broken down into a rough powder through mechanical vibrations.

The remains are then dehydrated and cleared of any metal, reducing a body weighing 75 kilograms (165 pounds) in life to 25 kilograms (55 pounds) of pink-beige powder, plus the remains of the coffin.

The key point here... the company has applied for patents in 35 countries.

Little Mermaid statue defaced — again

The Copenhagen Post is reporting that once again, Denmark hippies retaliated in the government takeover of their "Freetown Christiana." The city is demolishing old buildings in the district to make room for a new government subsidized housing project, which has upset the squatters that have been living there for free since the government abandoned the old military barracks in 1971.

Whilst I'm as hippie as the next guy, these "non-violent" protests have gotten a bit out of hand. They have culminated into large gatherings where protesters start big fires and throw Molotov cocktails at police. That being said, I'm totally okay with painting the joke of a statue that is the Little Mermaid though... I hope I'm not brought in for questioning for saying that.

Sweden's Response to Football Brawls

In response to Kristin's experiences with football in Chile, I bring this article from Sweden. We take our football seriously here:

Mass brawl at Swedish girls' football match

A row between a parent and a referee at a girls' football match escalated into a brawl on Sunday.

The match, between two teams of 14-year-old girls, was being played at Möllevallen in Skurup. An exchange of words between the father of one of the players and the referee ended with the ref whacking a ball at the spectator.

"That's one version. The referee's version is that the parent threatened him with a corner flag," said Stellan Andersson.

The father went and got into his car while the referee called for reinforcements. Shortly afterwards, several cars full of people - including the referee's father - arrived.

Accoring to unconfirmed witness reports, they are said to have circled the father's car and tried to smash in the windows.

The father managed to drive away from the scene but two cars set off in pursuit.

"We went down there with four units. The atmosphere was very threatening at first. Nobody has been arrested but the matter has been reported.

Liveblog: Eurovision Song Contest 2007

Pre-show predictions:

• Of the 24 countries participating, one has English as its national language, yet 20 countries will perform songs sung in English.
• A Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction will happen, twice.
• Sweden will win.

Feel free to watch alongside live at:
http://www.eurovision.tv/addons/mediaplayer/live/esctv.html

8:57:
They just announced to the audience not to be alarmed when a motorcycle flies over the stage and to stop-drop-and-roll if the pyrotechnics go wrong...

9:01:
Opening credits depict Finland as a barren snowfield and Finns as devil worshiping people.

9:06:
Streaming website crashes... all of Europe must be tuning in
I'm forced to stream it from a Spanish website, commentary from this point forward will be in Spanish.

9:09: Bosnia & Herzegovina
Song is in Bosnian... Slow ballad with Bosnian women in nightgowns. Woman has a decent voice, crowd seems to be excited (maybe it was because it was the first song)

9:12: Spain
Spanish Backstreet Boys. Four Spanairds wearing futuristic white spacesuits. Synchronized dancing on par with N*SYNC. The hunky lead singer has a euro-mullet. Catchy dance beat, they lost it on the obligitory midsong key change. Pose ends with fire.

9:17: Belarus
First song in english... black button down shirt half opened hunk cannot sing to save his country. "Work Your Magic, something something love potion" Key change proves helpful to find pitch... ends alright.

9:20: Ireland
Riverdance (j/k) Irish lead singer looks so nervous it hurts to watch (and listen to). Pan pipes and violin enter as relief... now she's banging a drum which seemed to have taken the edge off. Did i mention i can't understand a word she is saying/singing. Song ends and she yells "Thank You" to the audience...

9:24: Finland
Host country. Reminds me of Evenensance. The audience must be full of Finns, because they are going CRAZY! "Leave me alone, i want to go home" (synchronized flames to drum beat) MC's take stage and say, "how about Finland!!!"

9:30: FYR Macedonia
What language do they speak there, because that is what she is singing in. She's gooood, but her background dancers are strange. She just walked to the front of the stage, cue Marlyn Monroe dress blowing wind and hair. My pick so far.

9:33: Slovenia
I'm scared... she's scary looking. It aint over till the "fat" lady sings a Slovenian tune. Now she's got some strange light emiting device on her hand and is waving it in front of her face as the high notes get higher. Hits the end note right on, but i don't think that is what the audience is looking for... Opera?

9:37: Hungary
I didn't know Norah Jones was Hungarian... she's got the blues. Set includes a sign that says "Bus Stop" and she's using the pole to hold her up as she is grasping for air. Wow, she is really belting it (did I mention that she has a HUGE belt on) Her halter top has a picture of Jesus and says "Thank God I'm a VIP" A mellow reception, but what do you expect for singing a mellow song?

9:42: Lithuania
Cool set... the band is behind a sheet and it is backlit so all you see is their shadows. Singer is sitting on a stool at the front of the stage with a guitar. She might be good, but the song should be playing in an elevator near you soon. The singer............ sorry i dozed off there for a minute, wow that was boring.

9:45: Greece
I bet he's the Justin Timberlake of Greece. His backup dancers are distracting... in a good way. Now he has his four dancers on leeshes and is walking them around the stage. Woah, Ricky Martin called and wants his moves back buddy! Maria Maria... my new pick for the evening.

9:49: Georgia
She looks like Gabriel Solice from Desperate Housewives. I'm getting the Madonna vibes. Great voice, and a catchy tune. Good use of pyrotechnics at the end... my Georgia gets the nod as my new pick.

9:52: Sweden!!!!
I'm freaking out here... The Ark is rocking it baby! Be prepared to hear this one on the radio stateside... ever since I got to Denmark I've been hearing them all the time, for a good reason. "Baby I'm the worrying kind" The crowd has spoken! Swedish flags are flying everywhere and fans are screaming like it's their job. Great time for an intermission... the planned break after 12 countries couldn't have come at a better time, I'd hate to follow that. The MC's just endorsed Sweden (if my spanish serves me correctly)

9:59: France
I love that they decided to sing in French, because a bunch of dudes wearing pink suits with angel wings prancing around the stage just wouldn't be the same if they weren't singing in French. The lead singer seems to have a ferret around his neck... i'm not sure if it is alive or not, but he keeps petting it. Not good, not good at all France... i know you can do better.

10:02: Latvia
Latvian Josh Groban... woah, now his clone came out, woah, now there are 6 Latvians in suits with top hats on stage belting it. Whoda thunk a bunch of men singing on stage could be so good (I did). Look for The Naturals to cover this Latvian song real soon. I don't think we could match their dashing looks though (yes we can).

10:06: Russia
Russian Spice Girls. I'll take them any day... The blonde one is spoken for (by me), but feel free to pursue the other two. Michael Jackson moves to boot... not to shabby. At the end of the day though, a group of 3 Britney Spearss is too much... I'll pass on Russia.

10:10: Germany
Frank Sinatra reincarnated as a German lounge singer. His backup band is doing a bang up job of providing a mad hook for him. Who knew German could sound so good. Key change... The Roger Cicero Quartet, I think i'll look them up and "buy" a CD of theirs... after Sweden of course, Germany is number 2.

10:14: Serbia
It's Pat... is it a guy or a dude? Whatever it is, I like it. I like her backup singers too. Key change... now i'm sure its a chick. Serbia could be the dark horse here.

10:17: Ukraine
Holy Crap thats weird... Ukrainian techno and they are wearing the strangest getup i've ever seen. First techno band ever with an accordion as the main instrument. Can techno win Eurovision? I don't think so, but i'd get down to this at a club. The crowd seems to dig it too.

10:21:United Kingdom
Mick Jagger, the rock star... actually no. Abba called, they want their recipe back. Two dudes + two chicks = a band. Are we on an airplane? They created the illusion of it by dressing up as airline attendants and singing "flying around" having produced The Beatles, i would have thought they could do better...

10:26: Romania
Not quite sure how to describe this one... if I were to do a Russian bottle dance, i'd probably have this on in the background. It seems to be a group of seven Romanians yelling at eachother, but now they made up and are in a kick line... hmmmm, Romania as 2007 champions... not this year.

10:30: Bulgaria
Stomp. No wait, was Stomp techno? The dude has a great mullet though. Can you yodel techno? Apparently in Bulgaria you can. Ha, the dude didn't sing a single word the whole time, but at the end he yelled "Europe, we love you..." you didn't earn the privilege to praise dude!

10:34: Turkey
Shake It... I bet he's cool in Turkey, but to me he looks like an out of place Texan rancher. He's trying a bit too hard, but his backup dancers don't even have to try. Since when is Turkey in Europe anyways?

10:37: Armenia
Love the puffy shirt buddy. i feel bad for him because his tree in the background got TPed (Toilet Papered) How did they get through the semi-final... oh yeah, they were prequalified from their performance last year. Lukewarm reception from the audience.

10:41: Moldova
Love the electric violin... Angelina Jolie can sing. I wonder what is holding her pants up, because it looks like a stiff wind could blow her over. Those violins are throwing up a mad beat, not to mention she's rockin the mic. Number 3.

10:46
Show's over, phone lines are now open! You only have 15 minutes to vote, so get texting. The MC's just brought Santa Clause on stage... what the heck is happening? He just took out a big bell and starting ringing it to signify the start of the 15 minute voting period.

Final round-up is being shown and American Idol style summaries of each performance are being shown. This gives me a chance to finalize my predictions.

1. Sweden
2. Germany
3. Moldova
4. Finland
   
5. Latvia
6. Georgia
7. Serbia
8. FYR Macedonia
   

My vote has been cast... and I'd imagine rest of Europe has cast its vote as well. Good thing Finland is home to Nokia.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Stop Voting.

11:10
They are in the "Green Room" and they have stuck a Finnish Joan Rivers in the room with them all. Wow she is a ditz...

11:16
They are releasing each countries results one by one... It seems all the small eastern European countries are voting for each other. Russia has taken a huge lead...

11:20
Every country gets the same number of votes... that isn't fair at all (kinda like the electoral college)

11:23
Denmark gave Sweden its 12 point vote!!!! Scandinavia has to stick together baby...

11:25
Finland gave 8 points to Sweden and 12 to Serbia... I have officially disbanded Finland from Scandinavia.

11:42
Norway gave their 12 votes to Sweden!!!

11:49
Sweden gave Finland their 12 votes... we lived up to our Scandinavian duty, unlike Finland.

11:54
With seven countries left to vote, Serbia has a huge lead.

11:59
Iceland gives 10 points to Sweden, 12 to Finland... I think Iceland should be added to Scandinavia.

12:03
Serbia wins... Yawn.


Is the voting system flawed... yes. You're still number one in my book Sweden!

Liveblog: Eurovision

30 minutes until show time... stay tuned for my LIVE commentary!

Denmark's Eurovision Dreams

Denmark's dream of winning Eurovision 2007 died this evening as they failed to make it through the qualifying round. The attached video of the performance gives key insight as to why they didn't qualify:



PS: Sweden's "The Ark" is prequalified for the final to take place Saturday.

ATRs: Which Swedish Princess Should I Marry?

Crown Princess Victoria

Princess Madeleine

So the Swedish Royal Family is in Copenhagen for a few days, and this brings up a question that has gone unanswered for far too long... which member of the Swedish Royal Family should I marry?

On the one hand, Princess Victoria is the Heir to the Swedish Kingdom... On the other hand, Princess Madeleine is The Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland. Do I want an entire kingdom, or just a couple provinces to look after? Either one would mother beautiful Swedish babies, so that's a moot point... Both are collegiately educated: Princess Victoria is a Yale girl, whilst Princess Madeleine a U of Stockholm girl...

I've been loosing sleep over this... I could really use some feedback from the readers.

10 Minute Rule/Teacher of the Month

So we attempted to go to class today, but when we got there... no professor. A sense of excitement immediatly filled the room, as people began running the formula in their head:

The duration that must be waited =
10 minutes + (# of 4.0 students x 2) + (Age of professor/10) - temperature outside (in celsius)

This is of course an unwritten rule, which leaves some room for discretion. The class collectively got up after 19 minutes without a single word being said and left the classroom. Even though it is only May 8, I am going to give the nod to Jesper as the "Teacher of the Month: May." He has clearly earned this honor, canceling class two times in April, and now with the no show... easiest decision ever.

Skinny Swedes

Once again, Swedes (and Danes) show us the way. I can attest firsthand that my fellow Swedes are every bit as curvaceousas I have made them up to be.

Genes, or lifestyle? Something to think about...

Kollegiet Olympics

Yesterday marked the annual Kollegiet Olympics here in Sonderborg. Each of the student halls in Sonderborg (Sønderskov-kollegiet, Ungdoms-kollegiet, Handels-kollegiet, Park-kollegiet, Borgmester Andersen-kollegiet, Damgade-kollegiet, Humlehøj-kollegiet) are invited to form teams and participate in Football (Soccer), Volleyball, and Brännboll.

However, it isn't a athletic competition so much as it is an excuse for Danes to drink (we do that a lot here). Eight o' clock in the morning a Danish breakfast is served and washed down with a cold beer (to be followed throughout the day with warm ones). This signifies the start of the games...

Our international team quickly became familiar with the rules... when someone is playing too well, they are given a "green card" by the referee. This player is ordered to the sidelines and handed a warm bottle of beer. They must finish the beer before they are allowed to re-enter the game. Not only does this encourage competitive play, it gives a player an excuse to take a breather and a brew.

It was a long day of fun in the sun, and in the end, our international experience in both sports and drinking were not to be matched. We won the two sports we entered (none of us knew how to play Brannboll) and took the trophy (there was no trophy). Needless to say, block 4 HK goes down in the books as the champions.

The best was yet to come though, and through all the Danish chatter over the loudspeaker: "Det er bestyrelsen, som indgår udviklingskontrakt med WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!"

I remembered to snap a picture during the first "heat," the later rounds proved too captivating to snap pics of...

Great day, or greatest day...? It's hard to tell.

Tragedy in Legoland: Woman Dies in Lego Rollercoaster Accident

BILLUND, Denmark — A 21-year-old employee at the Legoland amusement park was killed in a roller coaster accident, police and park officials said Monday.

The woman, who was not identified, died immediately Sunday after being hit by a coaster car, police said.

"We're shocked," Legoland manager Henrik Hoehrman said. Nothing like this has happened before."

First of all... I went on that ride, and it was pretty sweet. Second of all, if my Lego Princess was in any way harmed because of this coaster, so help me god... I'll unbuild the entire coaster brick by brick and build a castle for us to live in happily ever after.

Introducing... Sweden's Modern Swedish Chef

Sweden's answer to Martha Stewart, Tina Nordström mixes pseudo-southern charm with a cheeky sense of humour.

Who is she and why is she famous?

Tina Nordström is Sweden's most famous celebrity chef. The likable southerner's untrammeled popularity make her something of a Swedish Delia Smith (without the major shareholding in a mid-sized football club), or Martha Stewart (without the spell in jail).



What's her secret?

Like mama's lasagna, it's all in the recipe. Take a spoonful of southern charm, mixed with a dash of barely decipherable dialect. Add a sprig of humour and bring the bubbly personality to the boil. Stick the whole lot in the mixer and you're left with a quite delectable dish.

Sounds tasty alright.



It's a quite exquisite concoction, which has ensured that the woman they call Food-Tina has topped the ratings any time she's been bothered to put her hand near a pot.

And what about family? Has she ever had a bun in the oven?

Hilarious gag. She's only heard it more times than she's had hot dinners. But yes, she and her boyfriend Martin have a little one-year-old called Albin.



That was a bit saucy. So is she still keeping the juices flowing on Swedish television?

No. Food-Tina has recently been treating American audiences to her culinary delights on a show called New Scandinavian Cooking. Not surprisingly, she has proved a BIG hit with US viewers despite being unable to use her trademark phrase: 'jättegott'.

What does that mean?

It means eminently palatable.

A quick dip...

I have gone through the trouble to map some directions to Sonderborg, so I'm expecting some visitors...

Your best bet is to come here, since I may not be home... ever!

...

...

via Google Maps

Another Swede Returns Home...

On Saturday, April 28, another Swede returned home... My grandpa, John Hallberg, passed away in his sleep after enjoying his last cookie time.

Swedish Bikini Team

Introducing... up close and personal: the Swedish Bikini Team

Who are they and why are they famous?

The Swedish Bikini Team stepped out of the sea and into the limelight in 1991. Once accurately described as 'vixens of beerdom', the swimwear Swedes quickly skedaddled off the scene and were last spotted dancing to rock music in a cottage in Lapland just a few months after their breakthrough.

There are about fifty possible follow-up questions but let's start with this one: What the heck are you babbling on about?

Right. Well phrased, sir. Let's put it this way: the Swedish Bikini Team's exit from the world stage was facilitated by the fact that it had never really existed in the first place.

Well, that makes it clear as sausage water, as they say in these parts.

Bear with me a moment. The thing is, Sweden does not have, nor has it ever had, a bikini team. Now that's not to say that there is no such thing as a bikini team. The USA, for example, has plenty of them. There's the west coast Kwicherbichen team (say it aloud, you may find it amusing). Then there's the Cajun Spice team from Louisiana, as well as a couple of combos in Florida. But all of these bearers of beachwear have ready access to a commodity that Sweden sadly lacks.

So who were these Scandinavian lovelies then?

Firstly, it is interesting to note that not a single flailing Nordic limb was to be found among the Swedish Bikini Team's ranks. The girls, all of them American, were hired to help market Old Milwaukee beer. Platinum blonde Swedish strand maidens were considered a perfect complement to the brewer's slogan: 'It doesn't get any better than this'.

What doesn't?

Life. Life, that is, for a group of young men spending time together in the great outdoors. In the ads, the underdressed pseudo-Swedes would always arrive on the scene, perhaps by parachute, just in time to counteract the onset of tedium.

And then they'd sit all down for coffee and a bun and discuss the pros and cons of turbo-charged Keynesianism?

What? No, they'd all dance, drink beer and perhaps entertain the notion of entering into transatlantic trysts. For the young men at whom the campaign was aimed, it just didn't get any better than that.

But imagine if they could have had all of the above as well as a unionized job, generous children's allowance and a secure state pension. Surely it doesn't get any better than that?

Stop it, you're being difficult. This campaign had nothing to do with the differing worldviews of wealthy nations. It was about fun, sex and beer, all done in a manner intended to parody more po-faced beer commercials in which cameras lingered shamelessly on the female form without the slightest sense of fun.

And how was the campaign received?

It was incredibly popular to start with. The Swedish Bikini Team became so well-known that they appeared in a couple of episodes of Married... With Children before accepting Playboy's invitation to shed their famed blue and yellow bikinis.

Cripes. They'd come a long way from the mind of an advertising guru. What made them go from major league and widely loved to itsy bitsy and teenie weenie?

Following complaints from some female employees, a lawyer took exception to the brewer's bevy of bikini girls and accused the makers of Old Milwaukee of creating a working climate that was conducive to sexual harassment. In the words of Patrick Scullin, one of the campaign's creators, the Swedish Bikini Team came to represent "the politically incorrect evil that lurks in our loins".

Let me guess the next bit: Old Milwaukee backed slowly out of the room, whistled a happy tune and pretended never to have rubbed the lamp that first unleashed the beast.

Something like that, yes. Coming as it did at a time of some high profile sexual harassment lawsuits, the allegations caused the manufacturer to lose its bottle. As broadcasters and beer-makers began distancing themselves from the flashing of flesh, the surrogate Swedes didn't stand a polka dot's chance in hell of starring in a new campaign.

So what became of them?

A final ad spot for Old Milwaukee featured the usual flannel-trousered youths frying fish and proclaiming that it didn't get any better than this. Except this time it really didn't. The buxom blondes were not in Kansas any more. Instead they had returned to their faraway land, never to set foot on American shores again.

And nobody ever found the bikinis in the vaults of history and tried them on for size?

Now that you mention it, a replica team emerged some years back to carry on the noble legacy. The new Swedish Bikini Team even took the innovative step of involving actual Swedish women. The revitalized vamps went on to star in the Bond-meets-Charlie's-Angels feature film Never Say Never Mind.

It doesn't get better than that.
No, it doesn't.

BKASC: Bo Socken

Today's Better Know a Scandinavian City: Bo Socken

"Johan August Persson and Johanna Sofia Olsdotter were married about 1854. Johan was born on April 3, 1833 at a farm called Murtorpet located in Bo socken, a parish in the province of Närke.

Murtorpet

Following their marriage, Johan and Johanna lived at this same farm. The occupation of Johan was listed in the church records as crofter, a man who rented his cottage and paid for it by working for the owner of the land a fixed number of days. Johan and Johanna had seven children, but two died at very young ages. Their eldest son, Carl August, was six years old and his brother, Gustaf Adolf, was three when their sister Emeli was born in 1861. Two years later, Emeli died just four months after her sister Anna was born. Anna also died before reaching her second birthday. A son, Johan Axel, was born following the death of Anna. Their only surviving daughter, Frida Kristina, was born in 1868. In 1871, their youngest son, Malcolm Hugo, was born.

Modern Murtorpt

During the last half of the nineteenth century, many different factors were causing people in Sweden to emigrate to the United States. Among these were religious persecution, deteriorating economic conditions, drought and dwindling land availability. In 1880, Carl August, the oldest son, decided to emigrate to the United States. Although emigration was occurring all around them, Johan and Johanna must have had considerable heartache with the departure of a son to a foreign country, knowing that he probably would never return to Sweden and the farm called Murtorpet." (murtorpet.se)

Carl August was my Great-great grandfather. He was the first among his family to emigrate to America. In the spirit of my great-great grandfather's tenacity, I made my voyage back "home."

Me, back on the farm

Sweden withdraws from Miss Universe contest

Sweden will not send a candidate to the Miss Universe contest in Mexico, it has been announced. Organizers of Miss Sweden say the international competition is too old fashioned.

"The modernization of the international competition has been significantly slower than the Swedish contest, although we see signs of change on horizon. Until the parent organization catches up we have chosen not to participate this year," organizer Panos Papadopoulos said in a statement on Wednesday.

On a related note, Swedish model Anika Knudsen has a tattoo of a lingonberry on her right buttocks (not old fashioned).

Euro-Tailgate 2007

Yesterday was the first of many days to come in which we grilled the meat of our choice on the courtyard grill in our backyard. I chose a prime cut of Danish deliciousness. The festivities were to celebrate "The Last Tutten" rather than a Brewers game, but had the tailgate feel nonetheless. Funny how grilling a piece of meat over a few beers is celebrated everywhere in the world. I guess the American tradition of man, fire, and meat isn't all that exclusive.

Fernando (Spanish with mullet) manned the grill as German, Danish, French critique.

The grill has the seemingly magical ability to attract all men within a five mile radius around its smoldering coals. Men from all walks of life forget their differences while under the grills spell, as they stand around a fire gossiping about the exotic salts and spices they have used on their prized cut of meat. Men compliment each others meats, and express their pleasure about how great it is at least once every bite. Men act on their primal instinct to watch over and guard their precious prime rib. They bribe and argue about who's steak gets to be in the coveted sweet spot right over, but not too close to the hottest coals. Every man reverts to thousands of years of evolutionary favorable behavior: i am man. man kill bear. man cook meat.

When a man volunteers to have a BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1. The women buys the food
2. The women make the salad, prepare the vegetables, and make dessert
3. The women prepare the meat for cooking, place it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and take it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand

Here comes the important part:

4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL

More routine:

5. The women go inside to organize the plates and cutlery
6. A woman comes out to tell the men that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation

Important again:

7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN

More routine:

8. The women prepare the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and bring them to the table
9. After eating, the women clear the table and do the dishes
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts
11. A man asks a woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

I have a theory on understanding where you stand in a relationship. Number one on the list signifies: you are joined at the hip; all the way down to six: you potentially are in a relationship.

1) buying a grill together
2) buying a car together
3) having a pet together
4) getting a joint checking account
5) buying a house together
6) exchanging/merging playdoh

ATR's: Before & After

Danish Haircut: 400 Krones ($73 USD)
Letting Jan shave it instead: free... and priceless!

comments?

Before After

100th Post Celebration!

In celebration of the 100th Swede In America post, I have shaved my head...

BKASC: Örebro

Today's Better Know a Scandinavian City: Örebro

Örebro is a smallish town in the center of Sweden, one hour west of Stockholm. The countryside around Örebro is similar to what one would expect to find in the Great Plains of the USA.

Wisconsin or Örebro?

Örebro literally means a bridge over gravel banks, which is how the geography looks, with the stream Svartån draining into the lake Hjälmaren.

The landscape is flat, farmed, and barned.

The city is the birthplace of Mary Stavin, Miss World 1977. She also starred in James Bond: Octopussy and A View to a Kill, as agent Kimberley Jones.

Swedish beauty, timeless.

Örebro also has a suburb, which a certain Swede in America's Swedish relatives come from... stay tuned for the climax of my Journey home...