Liveblog: Eurovision Song Contest 2007

Pre-show predictions:

• Of the 24 countries participating, one has English as its national language, yet 20 countries will perform songs sung in English.
• A Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction will happen, twice.
• Sweden will win.

Feel free to watch alongside live at:
http://www.eurovision.tv/addons/mediaplayer/live/esctv.html

8:57:
They just announced to the audience not to be alarmed when a motorcycle flies over the stage and to stop-drop-and-roll if the pyrotechnics go wrong...

9:01:
Opening credits depict Finland as a barren snowfield and Finns as devil worshiping people.

9:06:
Streaming website crashes... all of Europe must be tuning in
I'm forced to stream it from a Spanish website, commentary from this point forward will be in Spanish.

9:09: Bosnia & Herzegovina
Song is in Bosnian... Slow ballad with Bosnian women in nightgowns. Woman has a decent voice, crowd seems to be excited (maybe it was because it was the first song)

9:12: Spain
Spanish Backstreet Boys. Four Spanairds wearing futuristic white spacesuits. Synchronized dancing on par with N*SYNC. The hunky lead singer has a euro-mullet. Catchy dance beat, they lost it on the obligitory midsong key change. Pose ends with fire.

9:17: Belarus
First song in english... black button down shirt half opened hunk cannot sing to save his country. "Work Your Magic, something something love potion" Key change proves helpful to find pitch... ends alright.

9:20: Ireland
Riverdance (j/k) Irish lead singer looks so nervous it hurts to watch (and listen to). Pan pipes and violin enter as relief... now she's banging a drum which seemed to have taken the edge off. Did i mention i can't understand a word she is saying/singing. Song ends and she yells "Thank You" to the audience...

9:24: Finland
Host country. Reminds me of Evenensance. The audience must be full of Finns, because they are going CRAZY! "Leave me alone, i want to go home" (synchronized flames to drum beat) MC's take stage and say, "how about Finland!!!"

9:30: FYR Macedonia
What language do they speak there, because that is what she is singing in. She's gooood, but her background dancers are strange. She just walked to the front of the stage, cue Marlyn Monroe dress blowing wind and hair. My pick so far.

9:33: Slovenia
I'm scared... she's scary looking. It aint over till the "fat" lady sings a Slovenian tune. Now she's got some strange light emiting device on her hand and is waving it in front of her face as the high notes get higher. Hits the end note right on, but i don't think that is what the audience is looking for... Opera?

9:37: Hungary
I didn't know Norah Jones was Hungarian... she's got the blues. Set includes a sign that says "Bus Stop" and she's using the pole to hold her up as she is grasping for air. Wow, she is really belting it (did I mention that she has a HUGE belt on) Her halter top has a picture of Jesus and says "Thank God I'm a VIP" A mellow reception, but what do you expect for singing a mellow song?

9:42: Lithuania
Cool set... the band is behind a sheet and it is backlit so all you see is their shadows. Singer is sitting on a stool at the front of the stage with a guitar. She might be good, but the song should be playing in an elevator near you soon. The singer............ sorry i dozed off there for a minute, wow that was boring.

9:45: Greece
I bet he's the Justin Timberlake of Greece. His backup dancers are distracting... in a good way. Now he has his four dancers on leeshes and is walking them around the stage. Woah, Ricky Martin called and wants his moves back buddy! Maria Maria... my new pick for the evening.

9:49: Georgia
She looks like Gabriel Solice from Desperate Housewives. I'm getting the Madonna vibes. Great voice, and a catchy tune. Good use of pyrotechnics at the end... my Georgia gets the nod as my new pick.

9:52: Sweden!!!!
I'm freaking out here... The Ark is rocking it baby! Be prepared to hear this one on the radio stateside... ever since I got to Denmark I've been hearing them all the time, for a good reason. "Baby I'm the worrying kind" The crowd has spoken! Swedish flags are flying everywhere and fans are screaming like it's their job. Great time for an intermission... the planned break after 12 countries couldn't have come at a better time, I'd hate to follow that. The MC's just endorsed Sweden (if my spanish serves me correctly)

9:59: France
I love that they decided to sing in French, because a bunch of dudes wearing pink suits with angel wings prancing around the stage just wouldn't be the same if they weren't singing in French. The lead singer seems to have a ferret around his neck... i'm not sure if it is alive or not, but he keeps petting it. Not good, not good at all France... i know you can do better.

10:02: Latvia
Latvian Josh Groban... woah, now his clone came out, woah, now there are 6 Latvians in suits with top hats on stage belting it. Whoda thunk a bunch of men singing on stage could be so good (I did). Look for The Naturals to cover this Latvian song real soon. I don't think we could match their dashing looks though (yes we can).

10:06: Russia
Russian Spice Girls. I'll take them any day... The blonde one is spoken for (by me), but feel free to pursue the other two. Michael Jackson moves to boot... not to shabby. At the end of the day though, a group of 3 Britney Spearss is too much... I'll pass on Russia.

10:10: Germany
Frank Sinatra reincarnated as a German lounge singer. His backup band is doing a bang up job of providing a mad hook for him. Who knew German could sound so good. Key change... The Roger Cicero Quartet, I think i'll look them up and "buy" a CD of theirs... after Sweden of course, Germany is number 2.

10:14: Serbia
It's Pat... is it a guy or a dude? Whatever it is, I like it. I like her backup singers too. Key change... now i'm sure its a chick. Serbia could be the dark horse here.

10:17: Ukraine
Holy Crap thats weird... Ukrainian techno and they are wearing the strangest getup i've ever seen. First techno band ever with an accordion as the main instrument. Can techno win Eurovision? I don't think so, but i'd get down to this at a club. The crowd seems to dig it too.

10:21:United Kingdom
Mick Jagger, the rock star... actually no. Abba called, they want their recipe back. Two dudes + two chicks = a band. Are we on an airplane? They created the illusion of it by dressing up as airline attendants and singing "flying around" having produced The Beatles, i would have thought they could do better...

10:26: Romania
Not quite sure how to describe this one... if I were to do a Russian bottle dance, i'd probably have this on in the background. It seems to be a group of seven Romanians yelling at eachother, but now they made up and are in a kick line... hmmmm, Romania as 2007 champions... not this year.

10:30: Bulgaria
Stomp. No wait, was Stomp techno? The dude has a great mullet though. Can you yodel techno? Apparently in Bulgaria you can. Ha, the dude didn't sing a single word the whole time, but at the end he yelled "Europe, we love you..." you didn't earn the privilege to praise dude!

10:34: Turkey
Shake It... I bet he's cool in Turkey, but to me he looks like an out of place Texan rancher. He's trying a bit too hard, but his backup dancers don't even have to try. Since when is Turkey in Europe anyways?

10:37: Armenia
Love the puffy shirt buddy. i feel bad for him because his tree in the background got TPed (Toilet Papered) How did they get through the semi-final... oh yeah, they were prequalified from their performance last year. Lukewarm reception from the audience.

10:41: Moldova
Love the electric violin... Angelina Jolie can sing. I wonder what is holding her pants up, because it looks like a stiff wind could blow her over. Those violins are throwing up a mad beat, not to mention she's rockin the mic. Number 3.

10:46
Show's over, phone lines are now open! You only have 15 minutes to vote, so get texting. The MC's just brought Santa Clause on stage... what the heck is happening? He just took out a big bell and starting ringing it to signify the start of the 15 minute voting period.

Final round-up is being shown and American Idol style summaries of each performance are being shown. This gives me a chance to finalize my predictions.

1. Sweden
2. Germany
3. Moldova
4. Finland
   
5. Latvia
6. Georgia
7. Serbia
8. FYR Macedonia
   

My vote has been cast... and I'd imagine rest of Europe has cast its vote as well. Good thing Finland is home to Nokia.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Stop Voting.

11:10
They are in the "Green Room" and they have stuck a Finnish Joan Rivers in the room with them all. Wow she is a ditz...

11:16
They are releasing each countries results one by one... It seems all the small eastern European countries are voting for each other. Russia has taken a huge lead...

11:20
Every country gets the same number of votes... that isn't fair at all (kinda like the electoral college)

11:23
Denmark gave Sweden its 12 point vote!!!! Scandinavia has to stick together baby...

11:25
Finland gave 8 points to Sweden and 12 to Serbia... I have officially disbanded Finland from Scandinavia.

11:42
Norway gave their 12 votes to Sweden!!!

11:49
Sweden gave Finland their 12 votes... we lived up to our Scandinavian duty, unlike Finland.

11:54
With seven countries left to vote, Serbia has a huge lead.

11:59
Iceland gives 10 points to Sweden, 12 to Finland... I think Iceland should be added to Scandinavia.

12:03
Serbia wins... Yawn.


Is the voting system flawed... yes. You're still number one in my book Sweden!