You should have paid more attention in Physics 001... The three deadly sciences: Chemistry, Biology, and Physics could come in handy when you decide to settle down with someone. My theory of these qualitative observations:
Biology -DNA - How's the gene pool? Would your composite genes produce adorable offspring?
Ecology - can you live in the same ecosystem as this person?
Interaction of organisms - is the relationship co-operative, aggressive, parasitic or symbiotic?
Virus' - Do they have cooties?
Physics -
Magnetism - Are you attracted to this person on a molecular level? Opposites attract.
Thermodynamics - Does the room seem to heat up when they're around?
Statics - for every action... there an equal but opposite reaction by him/her (Newton was dead wrong about the "equal" part of this reaction, as we all know intensity of this reaction varies disproportionately with the action)
Quantum Physics - nobody understands this one... just like we never understand each other.
Chemistry - Elements - What element are you? What element are they? Are you both noble gases or transition metals? Don't kid yourself, lithium and zirconium don't mix.
Reactions - When you two were brought together was there a reaction and the creation of an entirely different element? (can't change palladium to platinum I'm told)
Bonds - How do you bond?
Polar Covalent (share electrons equally)
Covalent (Share electrons unequally... someone's got the higher affinity and gets more)
Ionic (one of you has something that the other wants... gives up something to be a part of this bond)
Phase - Are you a solid, liquid, or gas? Do you melt or boil in the presence of this significant other?
For those of you that will miss my olfactus presence for the next six months... fear not! All you want for Christmas is the BreathCapture:
