Euro-Tailgate 2007

Yesterday was the first of many days to come in which we grilled the meat of our choice on the courtyard grill in our backyard. I chose a prime cut of Danish deliciousness. The festivities were to celebrate "The Last Tutten" rather than a Brewers game, but had the tailgate feel nonetheless. Funny how grilling a piece of meat over a few beers is celebrated everywhere in the world. I guess the American tradition of man, fire, and meat isn't all that exclusive.

Fernando (Spanish with mullet) manned the grill as German, Danish, French critique.

The grill has the seemingly magical ability to attract all men within a five mile radius around its smoldering coals. Men from all walks of life forget their differences while under the grills spell, as they stand around a fire gossiping about the exotic salts and spices they have used on their prized cut of meat. Men compliment each others meats, and express their pleasure about how great it is at least once every bite. Men act on their primal instinct to watch over and guard their precious prime rib. They bribe and argue about who's steak gets to be in the coveted sweet spot right over, but not too close to the hottest coals. Every man reverts to thousands of years of evolutionary favorable behavior: i am man. man kill bear. man cook meat.

When a man volunteers to have a BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1. The women buys the food
2. The women make the salad, prepare the vegetables, and make dessert
3. The women prepare the meat for cooking, place it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and take it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand

Here comes the important part:

4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL

More routine:

5. The women go inside to organize the plates and cutlery
6. A woman comes out to tell the men that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation

Important again:

7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN

More routine:

8. The women prepare the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and bring them to the table
9. After eating, the women clear the table and do the dishes
10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts
11. A man asks a woman how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

I have a theory on understanding where you stand in a relationship. Number one on the list signifies: you are joined at the hip; all the way down to six: you potentially are in a relationship.

1) buying a grill together
2) buying a car together
3) having a pet together
4) getting a joint checking account
5) buying a house together
6) exchanging/merging playdoh