Thursday, May 31, 2007

I'd Like, I'd Like to be Like Mike...


Apparently people still look up to the US as being a good model. Despite all the negative stuff going on in the last two terms few years, countries still want to be more like the US. The Danish prime minister's son has just wrote a book in favor of the US:

Henrik Fogh Rasmussen writes in his new book, 'American Conditions', that the Danish media paints an exaggerated picture of poverty, racism and uninsured patients in the US, and argues European leaders should instead use the US model to address this continent's own social problems.

Rasmussen has lived in the US for several years and has an American wife. In his 57-page book he challenges the many negative images of the US promoted by the media and says the Danish health care system is more apt to fail patients than the American.

'Seen in light of the huge demographic changes Europe is experiencing, European decision makers should take more inspiration from the market-based health care system in the US, instead of warning us about the "American conditions" in health care,' Rasmussen writes.

'The national health care systems in Europe are characterised by rigorous cost controls, where hospital administrators and doctors jealously guard their annual budgets. This means there is little place for experiments such as a wider use of preventive medicines, and it is the patients that this lack of creativity and resistance to new thinking ultimately affects.'

'The picture of the US as a society with widespread poverty and homelessness is wrong. The numbers clearly show that living standards for the poorest Americans are at the same level as the poorest people in Denmark and the rest of Europe.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

This never would have happened to Miss Sweden...

Is the US Buying Sweden?

In a very economical sense, yes... Nasdaq has made a bid to buy OMX, the Swedish company that owns the Denmark, Norway, Finland, Sweden, Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia exchange markets. This purchase gives the US a stronghold in the technology sector in the Scandinavian states, which have produced such companies as Nokia, Ericsson, Volvo, AstraZeneca (those cheesy drug commercials), and others.

Be prepared for a more Scandinavian looking Times Square!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Dream Job

All jokes aside, it would be sweet to work for IKEA corporate one day. Not only would you have preferred access to efficient Swedish design, but there would obviously be some travel time to the homeland.

IKEA has made the short list upon graduation...

http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/jobs/apply_now/international_jobs/index.html

Saturday, May 26, 2007

International Food, (drink) Day

Have you ever had an Afghani nut? How about a Romanian dessert? Either had I, until Friday's "Intercultural Snack-evening."
Now, you have all been here in Sønderborg for 6 months or longer, but have you had a taste of Denmark, yet?

And what is the taste of your country???

Make a traditional snack and drink from your place of the world, and bring it to our Intercultural Snack -evening for your fellow exchange students to taste -and have a taste of their country, too.
The first thing I thought of was to make Swedish Pancakes with Lingon, but upon authorization from the international director she asked that I bring something "American," since I am the only American representative. First of all... it is nearly impossible to find corn and turkey, the only two real "American" foods I could think of. So what did I end up making? Hot Dogs, Peanuts, COOOOLD BEER! The traditional pastime of a day at the ballpark, nothing is more American than that.

I did however do something that I am not proud of... I bought a case of... gulp... Budweiser. It was the only American import beer available in the distant land of Denmark. That isn't an acceptable excuse, and in retrospect I should have forgone the idea of having an American beer rather than serving that sad excuse for a beer. I hope I didn't anger the beer gods back home, and rest assured the first thing I will do upon my return home will be to crack open a Milwaukee brewed Miller product.

I will also take this moment to propose a new Man-Law:
"A man must always carry a six pack of Miller Lite when traveling overseas in the event that there are no Miller products available" - Man Law



Friday, May 25, 2007

Bank Update: Currency Edition


That is the value of the USD vs. Danish Krone (affectionately known as the Copey) since I have been here. Notice the slight downturn, and by downturn I mean constant decline, which amounts to a 5% decrease in my purchasing power parity. Add to that the high price of living expenses here, and a man with no income could have a problem surviving here. Keep in mind the minimum wage is approx $14/hr. here, so they have no problem surviving. Heck, Danish students receive weekly checks from the government to pay for their living expenses (aka beer for a Dane).

I won't frighten you with actual balance of my account, but rest assured it will be good/(necessary?) to get back home to start working again!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

They're here: Cicadas resurface after 17-year hibernation



So the "buzz" is that the cicadas are back... perfect timing for me to miss this once and a 17 year phenomenon! Prepare for the famine of 2007 as the "locusts" swarm and destroy everything in their paths like Swedes in a ship. Anticipate six weeks of constant buzzing as 1.5 million cicadas per acre emerge from their 17 year slumber.

I have prepared a recipe for those that survive the rapture:

Cicada Stir-Fry:


  • minced onion, coriander (cilantro), fresh gingerroot
  • sliced carrots, chopped cauliflower and/or broccoli
  • water chestnuts and/or other vegetables of your choice
  • bean sprouts and snow peas
  • blanched, teneral cicadas
In a wok or other suitable pan, heat a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil. Add ingredients in the order listed above when those in the most recent addition are partially cooked. Serve over whole-grain (“brown”) rice and add soy sauce to taste.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Whats White and Red and Red All Over?

Distance from Equator: 3,500 miles
Time in the sun: 2 hours
Being Swedish: Priceless (and a mean burn!)

Monday, May 21, 2007

¡Suerte y al toro! (pertaining to jokes)

This is a tale of a joke that didn't work so well across cultural boundaries:

Ben to a Spaniard: "Have you seen that new pirate movie?"
Spaniard: ???
Ben: "Yeah, it's rated ArrrrrrrrR!"
Spaniard: ???
...twenty minutes of explanation...
Spaniard: "So that is the sound a pirate makes?"

Michael Moore on Sweden

Filmmaker Michael Moore has attacked the Swedish government for opening up the health service to more private sector involvement.

"I am very sorry to hear that they are selling out public healthcare. Everything that is good about public healthcare has its origins in Scandinavia," he said, adding that he thought the Swedish public would vote the centre -right Alliance government out as a result.
I accept your apology Mr. Moore...

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Swedes (not) in America

From June 2 - 10, there will be one less Swede in America. None other than The Swede in America's Sister will be joining her Swedish brother for a week of Scandinavian adventure. The trip will inevitably include a second (first for some) pilgrimage to Sweden.

Ben's Swedes
(left to right: Sister Swede (Rachel), Swede in America (Ben), Mother Swede (Vicki), not picutured: O'Father (irish)

Friday, May 18, 2007

Byfesten

It's that time of year again... < fill in the blank >-fest. Every city has one. In Watertown: Riverfest. Sonderborg: Byfesten.
I'm pretty sure there is a worldwide formula that cities purchase which summons a convoy of carnies to roll into town from their carny villages. The carnies set up their carny tent village, and people flock to throw their money at them. The interesting population of the city finally shows its face and the question is answered, "so theres the other 10,000 people that live here." It's these 10,000 helpless folks that make the entire carny system work. Steps to make the system work:
  1. Find people with children, preferably four or more children
  2. Offer cheep Chinese crap for a seemingly simple task (often of physical merit)
    2a. display one huge stuffed animal for girlfriend to see
  3. Deep fry every food item you offer
  4. Never stay in the same town for more than three days
  5. Stay away from cities with more than 25,000 people

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Human Popsicles

Sweden is considering allowing freeze-drying as a new method to bury the dead instead of traditional burials and cremations:


The freeze-drying method offers an environmentally friendly burial transforming corpses into organic compost. Traditional burials and cremations hurt the environment by polluting air and water, as a corpse buried in a coffin will take many years to decompose completely.

Under the new method, the corpse is taken to a temperature of minus 196 degrees Celsius in a liquid nitrogen bath and the body is broken down into a rough powder through mechanical vibrations.

The remains are then dehydrated and cleared of any metal, reducing a body weighing 75 kilograms (165 pounds) in life to 25 kilograms (55 pounds) of pink-beige powder, plus the remains of the coffin.

The key point here... the company has applied for patents in 35 countries.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Little Mermaid statue defaced — again

The Copenhagen Post is reporting that once again, Denmark hippies retaliated in the government takeover of their "Freetown Christiana." The city is demolishing old buildings in the district to make room for a new government subsidized housing project, which has upset the squatters that have been living there for free since the government abandoned the old military barracks in 1971.

Whilst I'm as hippie as the next guy, these "non-violent" protests have gotten a bit out of hand. They have culminated into large gatherings where protesters start big fires and throw Molotov cocktails at police. That being said, I'm totally okay with painting the joke of a statue that is the Little Mermaid though... I hope I'm not brought in for questioning for saying that.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sweden's Response to Football Brawls

In response to Kristin's experiences with football in Chile, I bring this article from Sweden. We take our football seriously here:
Mass brawl at Swedish girls' football match

A row between a parent and a referee at a girls' football match escalated into a brawl on Sunday.

The match, between two teams of 14-year-old girls, was being played at Möllevallen in Skurup. An exchange of words between the father of one of the players and the referee ended with the ref whacking a ball at the spectator.

"That's one version. The referee's version is that the parent threatened him with a corner flag," said Stellan Andersson.

The father went and got into his car while the referee called for reinforcements. Shortly afterwards, several cars full of people - including the referee's father - arrived.

Accoring to unconfirmed witness reports, they are said to have circled the father's car and tried to smash in the windows.

The father managed to drive away from the scene but two cars set off in pursuit.

"We went down there with four units. The atmosphere was very threatening at first. Nobody has been arrested but the matter has been reported.